SADMEN

A GOOD DAY WAS HAD BY THOSE MEMBERS AND SUPPORTERS OF TEAM OOOOSHYAFUKKA WHO WENT TO CROFT JUST TO SEE WHAT IT WAS ALL ABOUT. EVEN THOUGH IT WAS JUST A TRACK DAY SOME SPECTACULAR ENTERTAINMENT WAS TO BE HAD. OUR VERY OWN MAX BIAGGI WAS ABSOLUTELY FLYING ROUND IN 1 MINUTE 42 SECONDS WHICH WAS AN EXTREMELY COMMENDABLE EFFORT FOR A CBR 600 AND SHOULD SOON SEE HIM PLAYING WITH THE BIG KIDS, INCIDENTALLY TEAM OOOOSHYAFUKKA T-SHIRTS ARE NOW AVAILABLE, SEE ANY TEAM MEMBER FOR DETAILS ……. ESPECIALLY STEPHEN LOVERANCE.
THERE ARE PLANS AFOOT TO DO MORE TRACK DAYS AND I CAN REALLY RECOMMEND GOING ALONG TO SPY OUT THE POTENTIAL OPPOSITION, AND WATCH OUR HEROS (sic) DO THEIR DAMNEDEST TO BECOME LEG ENDS IN THEIR OWN LUNCHBOX.

SADMEN SUMMER PARTY 2005

As always the SADMEN Summer Party was an event that everyone was looking forward to, and when you consider that it almost didn’t happen due to the change of management at the Rose & Crown, club members were even more keen to have a good time.
Friday saw the clan start to gather from early afternoon and by 7 pm the majority of us had arrived and the need to start the party was becoming rather pressing.
Off to the pub then!
Friday night has traditionally been a warm up party with music, drinking to excess and high jinks, the new landlord, despite having been told what to expect, appeared to have other ideas. To say that he was rude, almost to the point of upsetting some people, is an understatement.
Whilst he was prepared to take our money he refused to be polite or even civil about it. Whilst the SADMEN were prepared to cut him some slack he abjectly failed to reciprocate the favour, he wore a scowl all night and had possibly the most unwelcoming aura this SADMAN has ever encountered in any member of the public.
I later found out that a club member had already had a minor altercation with the new landlord and other members had been told out and out lies about their booking arrangements. (I know they were lies cos I made the arrangements).
Nevertheless, the party progressed apace; Lisa did her best to provide an appropriate sound track to it all by raiding her CD collection, but even this proved to be too much to ask because we weren’t allowed to put any volume on it.
The SADMEN did what SADMEN do best, drink, and whilst there were some who drank a little more than others there was never a moment when we were out of hand or anything but civil, but before we knew it, it was chucking out time. I checked my watch and it was 12.15am, its never been known! It was almost obscene. There were men there who would happily have drunk until 3 or 4am. (Oh and incidentally, spent even more of their hard earned beer tokens.) So back to the tents to drink tinned beer, not quite the same but hey! beggars can't be choosers.
The Saturday afternoon ride out was a mixture of alternately riding like the B.M.F. and the Red Arrows all topped of by a visit by Dan Dare’s get you home quick truck when the trike took umbrige at being thrashed up and down Lake District mountains.
Saturday evening was a good night, we enjoyed ourselves, the locals enjoyed themselves and the campers enjoyed themselves, the landlord however, continued in very much the same vein, sending out mixed messages to us.
Of course Willie coming in an hour and a half late like a one-man tsunami, knocking speakers over, and compromising the electricity supply by exploding all of the lampshades, didn’t help at all.
In conclusion the landlord attempted to spoil what has become, over the past eleven years, a great weekend. He failed to give both, individuals and this club the respect that they have earned over the years; he made no attempt to get to know people even on a superficial level, yet he in return expected respect and wanted us to think that “he is the man”.
I have only one thing to say to him, ‘DON’T MISTAKE KINDNESS FOR WEAKNESS.’

SUMMER PARTY 05 8TH – 10TH July

Our most looked forward to weekend of the year, for me anyways. Day off work so I decided to go up early and pick the prime pitch for the marquee that is the family tent –‘Cassa Luke’.
Corner of our beloved field chosen then back home to do the husbandly tasks required before being let off the leash.
Back to the party at teatime to the fascination that everyone had pitched at the other side of the field (rotten bastards). It soon became apparent however that this was to prove the upmarket turf when the real posh folk turned up. It was away from Glen, Eric and Barry, and for those of you who know, this was a real smart move.
It was nice to see such a heavy duty turn out again!
Our arrival had been anticipated by our hosts, Nigel and Julie, A.K.A. Pinky and Perky, they had been so looking forward to this weekend… they said! You will be made so welcome…they said! We love a good time…they said! Wankers…I said! We emptied their barrels and filled their till and listened to them fucking whinge! Minions like those are two a penny and did we let them stop our fun…did we fuck!!! A good session was had by all.
Barry had his usual outside kip, much to the hilarity of everyone else. Out for the ride on Saturday. Weather was red hot. Wonderful ride up the Dale to Alston and Hartside. “You’re a lucky bastard Innes, riding that trike, wind in your pate! Lovely sun and views to die for.” I sez. “I bought the fucking thing for days like this.” retorts Innes, Sorry mate!
Anyway, after the drop down into Penrith, two ice-lollies and a recovery truck later, were back at the campsite. Everyone riding someone else’s bike of course, and ready to really party on Saturday Night.
Willie turns up late; locals getting restless but ‘Stu the Song’ soon has everyone (well almost everyone), in a good mood with I get by with a little help from my friends, and Glen!
The place was really rocking and rolling when the floor of the boozer was covered in Oops upside your head fiends. Willie did us proud again and a hoot was had by all. (by all of those that matter anyway!)
Miserable bastard closed the bar at 01:30 so Eric rove our shield off his wall to return to safekeeping for someone that deserves it.
I’ve heard that he has now barred all bikers from the pub. Well-done boys and boyesses. Somewhere different next time!

The Devil Made Me Do It

The summer of the 'BIG E' produced some really great rides out, I was especially impressed with the ride to DEVIL’S BRIDGE, not ever having been there before and to be perfectly honest I don’t think I could find my way back without a guide and two Sherpas, so if you want to go there I would take somebody who knows the way (I’ll come along for the ride of course).
That Sunday was particularly warm and dry and following the call, from Sluke, a crew of, The Norton One, Uncle Eric, Dangerous Paul, Colonel Strotman himself and yours truly, was rapidly put together and set out with no particular place to go. We set off heading for Weardale and wherever the whim took us.
The whim found us on some glorious roads heading towards Cumbria, when suddenly around a blind bend there it was, there were hundreds of bikes, bikes of all sizes and descriptions, it was one of the most colourful sights I have ever seen.
Now I’ve heard about Devil’s Bridge and I’ve read about Devil’s Bridge and thought, Oh yeah! But nothing can quite prepare you for the reality; there really is a bridge!! And bugger me but its high. This fact however, didn’t stop the lunatics, who were jumping off the highest point into the river Lune below, (pun entirely intentional)
As well as all of the bikes, people, loonies jumping off bridges and sunbathers there were burger vans, ice cream vans and stalls selling all manner of bike goodies such as crash helmets, boots and jackets as well as go faster bits for your Fireblade, GSXR, R1 etc. It was surprising to find all of these things going on in the heart of the English countryside and I had no idea that this is what happened nearly every summer Sunday at Devil’s Bridge, my education must have been lacking somewhere along the line.
After an hour or so just taking it all in and chilling out we decided to move on in a homeward direction though the ride back was rather spoiled by very heavy traffic on the A6, so up the A6 to the M6 and the A66 then up over the tops from Brough to the Rose and Crown, just imagine it, out all day riding bikes with me mates, ice cream, lashings of ginger beer and then home to the wife, who was so pleased to see that I was still in one piece when I got home she forgot to tell me off for enjoying myself too much. I thought I’d died and gone to heaven!!!!! (Thanks to Big Alan for the loan of his Bandit which was duly thrashed within an inch of its life, but don’t tell him, please)
Would I go again? YOU BETCHA.
Respects to the crew involved.

STORMIN' THE CASTLE 2004

The wise ones, those of fantastic age, long robes and beards to match, decided in all their wiseness, that the mole bones, seaweed and the goose innards indicated an early start.
So, in dawn’s early light the four horsemen of the Poxycrisps set out for distant shores. What shores? I hear you cry. 2 pints of beer and a bag of dry roasted when you’re ready!
At 0900hrs in military speak, we set off, arriving at Witton soon after. Collecting Lovo’ on the way. The journey was arduous and fraught with danger though accomplished in fine style and only a pint of petrol used between us.
The dew was still forming when we arrived at Stormin’ (Keats eat your art out!). Tents erected, chairs out and the chewing fat laid out before us as we watched the arrival of the multitudes
Jayne arrived mid morning and our own little coral of tents began to grow. We were perfectly placed in the site, a secluded little spot, in the opposite end of the field to the one Stu had told everyone to head for. My fault but I make no apologies as it turned out to be the prime location. En – suite with hot and cold running flatulence!
As more and more revellers arrived, the ‘Happy Clappers’ decided to camp next to us and provided us with entertainment all weekend long. Soon our own band of men-in-tights was together. Paul being the last to arrive- because he was working!!! (Twat)
After meeting Jayne & Innes guests, Tracey & family, off we went to the showground.
As usual, once there we all split like the Red Arrows on Whiz! Though after a frantic search and with the help from Stu’s glowing stick we settled down to watch the bands.
Headlining Friday was Limehouse Lizzy, technically very good though thought by some to be soulless on this occasion. I thought they were good and gave a fantastic rendition of Emerald.

Limehouse Lizzy live on stage at Stormin' 2004

I must take this opportunity to thank Glen for buying a couple of crates of beer for general consumption. As I was the General, I consumed it! Cheers again Glen.
Anyway, I sort of lost track of events after that. One minute we were all off to continue the party back at the tents, the next I was sitting on my own in the pouring rain. Ah well!!!
After a decent nights kip, I was up and ready to start again.
At this point, I’d like to mention a phenomenal occurrence that happened at the castle this year. That is Baz; he of the tack scarred hands, was up on both Saturday & Sunday mornings before the sun was at its zenith. Those of you who do this thing on a regular basis will know what a momentous achievement this was for the grizzled Norton One. The scale of this accomplishment has only been surpassed by the Apollo 11 Lunar landings in 1969; the shooting of JFK in 1962 and more recently by the originality of the gift Eric brought me from Las Vegas. – Shrek! Cheers Eric!!!
Anyway, I digress. Saturday morning and off to the Valley View café for a full English breakfast and a couple of pots of tea to set us up for the trials and tribulations to follow.
A look around the show field, gawping at the bikes in the show. Getting wet in the rain and off to collect Lisa from Lovo’s house, though what she was doing there is beyond me. Then down to the Castle for our annual Saturday afternoon laughabout.
This year was no exception, it was a hoot. Thanks Tracy for getting the thrupenies out, thanks even more for putting them away again!! After quite a few sherbets, it was off up to the band tent.
Saturday night saw the world famous Stranglers. The world can keep them, they were dire! They didn’t stop the ale flowing though, which lightened the mood somewhat. Again, we were all split up; I think you lot are just doing it on purpose?
Thanks to Lovo for taking my wife on the 'Make-me-Sick' machines. This is a yearly task I dread, though I’ve heard her say much the same thing on my birthday!
It was nice to see so many SADMEN at the rally, its weekends like this that make it all worthwhile in the end.
On to Sunday morning, Stu’s new piss pot, what a picture. Laugh? I nearly slipped out of the cat! No rush to get home for a change, so it was nice to take it easy and see everyone away. First in – last out. On to next year, lets make it even bigger and better.
There are photos here on the website if you can find them.
RAGE HARD IN THE TWISTIES, & KEEP THE BLACK BITS AT THE BOTTOM!!!
Love Ya!

Piczo